justgolitlegirl (justgolitlegirl) wrote,

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so quiet, another wasted night

Today was a pretty okay day.
I'll be honest, I got a little frazzeled over some things, no big deal though.
And I decided not to expect anything out of you anymore. I learned my lesson the hard way.
All my jealousy has turned into embarrassment..that I even gave you the time of day at one point.
Sometimes I wonder why I keep trying..and I keep skipping pages here. Part of me is ready to go. I'm ready to leave you and how ungrateful of me you've always been in this friendship. I'm ready to leave doubts -- yours, and yours and yours. If you're curious as to who this person is, try a music venue. He'll be the super adorable drunk in the back, feeding himself sympathy from girls that are willing. They're a lot of apples in your eye, and you know I really hate competition.

The whole non-situation (because it's never been brought up) makes me sad..so today I went and spent money on stuff I know I can't afford right now. I avoided being alone like the plague, that way the information I had been trying hard not to acknowledge wouldn't find it's way to settle under my skin. Mariah Carey came on in the car, so I text you. Later I got some groceries and bought a good album. Now I'm home, the information is settling, and I'm ready for a real long bath. This information changes nothing really, though.

Because I'm a sucker, and you mean the most.
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